As a senior in high school, I am constantly surrounded by the pressures of my friends telling me to go towards certain boys and to do things that I know aren't right in general.
But I also watch them date boys very easily and I watch so many boys chase after them and often times I feel like I am all alone and no one wants to date me which leaves me feeling very unattractive and lonely. (Which let's be serious, I'm no supermodel but I know I'm not "ugly" either.)
I guess I should mention it's not that I haven't had the opportunity to date other boys, it's that I haven't met any that I would like to date or that I feel like I should date.
Let me give you the DL of my dating history. From the time I was a freshman until present day high school senior I have dated a total of 2 boys.
Yes you read that correctly, 2.
One of the relationships was a short fling but the other one was an on and off for 3 years very serious type of relationship. I mean, I honest to goodness thought that I was going to marry that boy.
It was towards the end of that relationship when things really starting heading downhill that I really learned that I am not the one that knows best for myself. Shocker right?
Even though I was so determined to be with this boy forever I started to realize that maybe this isn't the path I'm supposed to be on. I realized that maybe God put him in my story for a reason but maybe he wasn't "the one" for me.
As I started to question the relationship, that's when I really learned the meaning of trusting God. Kind of silly that it was over a boy of all things, but hey, whatever gets the job done. I remember laying in bed those last couple of months saying my prayers and just asking God to do whatever He thought was best. I knew that this may mean that I might suffer a loss of a huge part of my life but I didn't care. I knew he had a plan for me.
Sure enough, the relationship came to an end. I was shockingly more okay with this than I thought I would be. I was expecting to be absolutely heart broken like I was the first time he broke up with me, but I wasn't. I was just...okay. I had/have major faith that God would see me through it all. And He did. And He has. And He will.
I did learn a lot from that last relationship. Like what I want to be different in future relationships. I want:
- A follower of Christ.
- A gentleman. He is not crude or vulgar in any setting. He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, etc.
- He not only prays for me, but with me.
- He desires to honor Christ in our relationship in every aspect. As well as his life.
- He takes me on actual dates.
- He is involved in his congregation.
- He is supportive of me in whatever it is I choose to do.
- He is willing to listen to what's on my mind/bothering me.
- He is funny but also capable of having a serious conversation.
And I refuse to settle for anything less. I would rather be happy and on my own than unhappy and in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
I will more than likely think of things later and add them to this list but for now I know that a relationship without God is no relationship at all and I don't want any part in it. I'll just have to be patient for the one God has saved for me.
What are some major things that you look for in a partner? Do tell ;)
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