Counting my blessings..

..and boy, do I have many!

I remember before I came to college, praying praying praying that I would find good friends. And God definitely gave them to me. This last weekend my mom was in town so we went out to the river and took pictures. Here are some of my friends and I, and I'll share the ones of my mom and I in another post later :)

I hope you all are having a great week! :)

It's been quite some time...

since I've written on here. And the truth is, I have no excuses. I was just out, livin' life, doin' my thang.

But now I'm back. At least for today.

Things have changed. I mean really changed. Since the last time I wrote, I danced (what I thought was) my last recital, had a summer full of fun, friends, and memories, went to orientation at my college (scared senseless, of course), moved away from home, started school, made new friends...There is not one thing in my life that is the same. Even my faith has grown and the relationships I have with my family have become stronger.

I'm feeling the need to write today mostly to get everything out of my head. And to be able to look back on the way I'm feeling right now when I want to give up.

When I came to school, I started out as an Architecture major. I thought it would be this magnificent journey of creating and that everything was going to work out so perfectly. I thought for years and years that this is what I wanted to do. Then, I realized through the classes I was taking that this is not at all what I thought it would be. I quickly went and switched my major, and I am now much happier as a Business Major with a concentration in Accounting.

It sounds like such a simple process on paper. That this is what happened and this is how I fixed it and this decision came to me so easily. Well it didn't. I went through much frustration and unhappy days feeling like I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life anymore. I thought that building homes for people who couldn't afford them was the only way that I could live a life pleasing to God. I simply just couldn't see my life any other way.

I had suddenly lost sight of the ambitious, dreamer that I once was. I remembered my original dream, from elementary school of growing up to have my own studio, and teach the passion that I have to others. After a lot of fear and praying I have realized that this is still a dream of mine. It sure took me a lot of crappy things and decisions to realize it, but it is still my dream.

I had never realized how much I truly valued dance until I wasn't doing it anymore. The past 7 months without it have been possibly the most torturous 7 months of my life. One of the ministers at the campus ministry group that I attend always stresses to do what we love, or we're going to be miserable. To go to school for a degree in a field that we are absolutely passionate about.

The other day it came up in a conversation that I feel like I could just dance for the rest of my life, and be perfectly content. And his response? "So why not do it?"

And he's right. Why would I waste the one life I have doing something I'm not totally in love with. And now I realize that I can touch so many people's lives and bring the love of the Lord to so many people through dance, too. Architecture is not the only way.

Maria Kochetkova, a dancer with San Francisco Ballet said, "It's not so much about the talent it's about how much you want to do it, how smart you work, and how smart you accept all the difficulties that come your way because there will be many, but they are there to make you stronger. Not to push you away from what you love."

And yes, it took me a lot of stress and tears to figure out that this is where I'm supposed to be, but now I know. And I won't forget it.

And other than that, I worry about things that most girls my age do too. Like who am I going to marry? Will I ever even get married? Will I get to have the blessing of children? And honestly, I've come to accept the fact that I won't know the answers to these questions until they happen. That God is the only one who does know and I need to wake up and trust him with these things.

Ultimately, that is my lesson in this, and it is something that I wanted to share with you all. God has a plan for you, and all the worrying that you're doing is senseless. He's got this. Just be patient, and don't worry. He's got you in His hands, and He won't drop you :)

A Reflection Through Time...

Since I've been out for a few weeks a lot of things have happened! But probably the best and most exciting thing was my senior prom!! Now I don't know how it worked at your high school but I was able to go my sophomore and junior years but I didn't. So I knew if I didn't go to my senior prom I would regret not ever going to prom. And I would have regretted it, it was one of the best nights of my life and I will remember it forever! I got to go with my best friends, and of course one of my best friends since 7th grade was my date :)

My best friend and I since Kindergarten :)

My sister and mom and me.

I'm not sure why but I am in love with this picture!

I wish I had pictures of us all actually at prom but I don't :( But I am glad I went, that's for sure!!

I almost titled this post with lyrics from a Mariah Carey song...

And then I came to my senses.

Friends, over the last month I have opened this page over and over, contemplating telling the internet what's been on my mind, what's been going on in my life, but I can't bring myself to do it because, as I think I've mentioned before, it does not involve only me. All I can say is that the devil is doing his very best to bring me down, and I have been defeated for a while. But now I am fighting back with everything God and I have. If you wouldn't mind, a prayer or two from you would be absolutely wonderful.

When I'm down, I love to read things that are uplifting and encouraging, I try not to wallow in self pity... So here are a few things I've come across that I love that I would like to share with you :)

When we deliberately choose to obey God, He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power.

--Oswald Chambers

Whatever your version of femininity has been up to this moment - God desires to offer you hope and a glorious future. Jesus Christ can take a life that has been bruised, rejected, or squandered and make it completely new. He can empower a weak and helpless life to rise up and conquer. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done or how far from Him you feel right now - He can transform you into a radiant, victorious, world-changing set-apart young woman.

--Leslie Ludy, Set-Apart Femininity

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

--Haruki Murakami

Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.

--Kris Carr

I am slowly but surely learning that God loves me even in my darkest times, even when I have deliberately disobeyed him and even when I turn to things other than Him for help. If you're going through a rough time too, I hope you know God loves you no matter what. 

Talk to you all soon!

Easter Sunday Catch-Up!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
I hope you're enjoying this wonderful day and you are focusing on the real reasons why we are able to celebrate today! I become more and more thankful for my Savior everyday as a grow and learn how much I really do need Him!

Now, I know I have been gone a long while... :)
That's why we're going to play catch up today!
So here's a few things that have been going on with me!

1. Okay I would say that I "finally" started my senior dance but this picture was taken like a month ago and we're already finished with it. We are still working on big lifts and things that are in it but I am so excited and I am in love with it!

2. I've gotten to spend some good quality time with my friends when I desperately needed it! 

3. I got my prom dress....or what was supposed to be my prom dress. It didn't really look anything like it did online...

SO THEREFORE, I went on another hunt for a prom dress yesterday and FINALLY found one at David's Bridal after going to every other resale shop in town trying to find a good deal on one since I had already spent a good amount of money on one. Unfortunately, I didn't get the one I really wanted because (okay super first world problem coming up right here) the smallest size it came in was a 2. And I needed a 0. And alterations were completely booked for 4-6 weeks and prom is in less than a month! So I went ahead and got one that actually was a 0. And even though it wasn't my absolute favorite I still really like it!

Needless to say, I have a little bit of tanning to do so that I won't be completely washed out! I was so thankful for the girl who helped me at David's Bridal though! She was so sweet, patient, and helpful and was the one who actually pulled this dress for me!

4. I WON A GIVEAWAY!!! From Amanda at My Love for Lyla. It was only supposed to include a $5 Target giftcard. But Amanda, being the sweet heart she is, added in a bottle of nail polish, a planner, and a sweet sweet not that has found its way up onto my bulletin board! The only real rule was that we had to pay it forward so I gave the giftcard and planner to my sister as an early birthday present but I kept the nail polish for myself ;) But I promise I'll share if my sister asks nicely ;)

6. Erin over at Sweetness Itself posted a vlog about her favorite and most helpful book and Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend was on her list! This is an area in my life that I personally have been struggling in quite a bit lately and from what I've read of it, it has been so knowledgeable and helpful! Maybe when I finish it I'll give a full review :)

7. And last but not least...doesn't my new theme ROCK?! You can thank Erin over at Love, Fun and Football for that! I totally love it!

Wow! I know that was a lot sorry! Lol!

Anyway, I am determined to make this week a good one after a few crummy ones! I have a few new post ideas so I will be sharing those soon! :)

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Xoxo, Kiah

Bluer than the Sky!

As you all know, I've been feeling quite down lately. Because ya know, life happens. Some of the things that have happened I cannot explain. I can't explain the reasoning behind them and I can't understand why they're happening.

A lot of times when things like this happen, I'll be honest, it makes me angry. Angry at God, angry at the people around me, and angry at the world.

And then I flashback to a time where I knew a family that was going through an incredibly difficult time. They had just started attending church with us and were not Christians yet. They tragically lost their baby of their five kids. I cannot even begin to imagine the lost and the turmoil that this family experienced and still deals with to this day. While a good number of people would have let this tragedy pull them away from God, this family only drew closer and closer to Him. They obeyed the gospel and were baptized and added to the church.

Thinking about this makes me admire them so much and it inspires me to do the same. To not let the tragedy pull me away. Maybe the tragedy is God opening my eyes to something, trying to pull me nearer to Him. And who am I to question His timing and His reasoning behind certain events? No one. I always fail to realize that he holds everything in His hands and he is there waiting for me to lay down my burdens at his feet and let him carry them for me.

If you're carrying a heavy weight around right now too, I pray that you'll have the strength to let go and give it to God.

I think I'll be back making posts this week! Thank you all so much for your prayers and your patience! I love you all!

Xoxo, Kiah

I know I have been incredibly distant lately, but I appreciate all the patience you all have shown me. I have been going through quite a difficult time lately and I don't want to go into detail because it doesn't only involve me but I would greatly, greatly appreciate it if you would keep me in your prayers for a little while! Thank you all so much! I will be back as soon as I feel like I wouldn't just be making a pointless post just for the sake of posting!

Love you all!
Kiah